The F@&$*! Swear Jar

Some people think I say the F word more than I should. I decided this would be the week to start a swear jar. Every time I cursed, I'd have to put a dollar in the jar. By day two, I needed a bigger jar. 

 

“If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?” ~ George Berkeley

 

Today I asked myself the proverbial question: If I curse and no one is around to hear me, do I make a sound? Do I have to put a dollar in the swear jar?

What if I go into one of my foul mouthed rants? Will I have to pay a dollar for each obscenity I utter? What if I repeat the same word, like "fuckety fuckety fuck"?

Will the swear jar take IOUs or American Express? How long can I keep it going? I really haven't thought this through.  Maybe it will work. I'm already cursing less.

Or am I?

Only In New York

Today was one of those quintessential New York moments. I was riding in the backseat of a car next to my West African friend, who was chatting on her cell phone, in French, to her sister in Mali, West Africa. Then the Dominican driver's phone rang, and he started a conversation in Spanish. To complete the UN trifecta, my phone rang and I answered it in English.  All three of us hung up our phones at the same time, and laughed. Just another reason why I love this city.

Friends

"Friends are more important than money."

This morning I read that on a Lululemon bag. It makes perfect sense; everything in that store is wildly expensive. After shopping there, you look great, but you're totally broke. At least you have your friends to buy you food.

The city is in a panic over the impending blizzard that is supposed to arrive late tonight. One would think I lived in New England, not New York City. Starbucks is closed. Fuckin' Donuts is closed. The hoarding is so bad at Key Foods that I'm waiting to see someone put the actual empty shelves into their shopping cart.

I just turned on the water and it's brown. Like coffee. Or worse. The water in my toilet looks like I took a dump. (I didn't). I called the Super and he says it's a problem throughout Washington Heights. It hasn't even started to snow, and already the situation is grim.

As everyone freaks out around me, I try to stay calm. I think about my friends, old and new, local and in cyberspace. Here's to you, my friends. I cherish all of you.

In spite of everything, there's no place I'd rather be than in this crazy town where anything is possible.

F*ckin' Donuts

The wind chill factor today is eight. Eight! I didn't have the heart to send Aissata all the way to 181st Street,  but I had a free drink coupon from Dunkin' Donuts that expired today. There's a Dunkin' Donuts around the corner from my building, but it's so bad that I call it Fuckin' Donuts! They never get my order right. Instead of giving them an order, I should just say "surprise me-you decide", because that is what they do. I was warned by everyone not to go there, but I took a chance today.

True to form, I got a free large cup of something that tasted like it was made from water out of the toilet and prehistoric beans. A brown crayon dipped in water would have tasted better. At least it was brown, and hot. I told Aissata, "If you had any doubt about how much I love you, you certainly know now!" She suggested adding more Splendas. I told her all there weren't enough Splendas in the state of New York to save this cup of tasteless sludge. The bright side was, at least I didn't pay for it!