What They Really Mean

QUAINT STUDIO ON 83RD STREET AND COLUMBUS.. GREAT LOCATION 5 MIN WALK TO THE B,C,1 TRAIN... CLOSE TO BEAUTIFUL RESTAURANTS AND SHOPPING... (Translation. Quaint = run down dump. Great location= the only good thing about the apartment. 5 minute walk to trains= you’ll be using them more often, because you’ll soon tire of living here. Restaurants and shopping are irrelevant, because you’ve spent all your extra cash on this overpriced dump.) SPACIOUS ENOUGH FOR SMALL SOFA/FUTON ++ QUEEN SIZE BED AND SMALL DESK.. (Translation: if you expect to fit those items in this apartment, don’t bother bringing any of your other possessions, don’t be overweight, and don’t expect to walk around the apartment without bumping into everything.) Gut Renovated 1 Bdrm. Translation: they’re still building it. Bring your hard hat, anti-asbestos gear and hope for the best. $1995 / 1br - Open House Monday - Great 1bdrm near Central Park (Upper West Side) Super location near the park, subways and all the stores and shops you'd need. Showing today for immediate move in; Hardwood floors, great light and windows. Walk up 3 floors. Recently renovated Pets ok. (It would have been nice if they gave location. Is it a new contest; the person who finds the open house gets the apartment?