Why e harmony Didn't Work

virgo: cheryl, Sticking to a challenging project results in a great accomplishment. You now have the know-how and confidence to take on and master something new. The ability to follow and fulfill your dreams now feels like a reality. My friend Marty has a different view on how to resolve my dilemma. “Don’t bother with an apartment; find a man with an apartment! Go to Starbucks, sit there and draw. Get your boobs done. Get laid. There has to be a blind, hearing-impaired man somewhere in that city. Do it now, you’re not getting any younger. I don’t understand it. You’re not that ugly.” “But once you sleep with them, they no longer want you.” I protested. Not to mention, all the men I meet look like Larry David. My friend Susan concurs. She suggested e harmony. She also suggested the website that led me to the home of the Adolph Hitler postage stamp collection; I had a feeling this would not end well. To: Susan74@hotmail; From: Me. Why e harmony didn't work: I was watching the movie "Words and Music" with Hugh Grant when it occurred to me that I wanted a Hugh Grant. Or a Cary Grant. e harmony kept sending me General Grants.  Alter cockers who didn't live anywhere near NYC. The youngest one went to school with Lincoln. I can volunteer at the assisted living facility to meet younger men; at least they live in the city. Somehow, the idea of meeting a geezer from Purgatory New Jersey, drooling and adjusting his dentures at the dinner table, taking a two-week holiday between courses, carrying Viagra and a coffin, does not motivate me to spend money to join this organization. As if! Susan called. “Why don’t you try J date again?” “The last time I tried to sign up, it kept disconnecting me. It was a sign. Maybe they don’t accept freeform Jews who eat ham and cheese on matzo during Passover.” “That’s ridiculous.” “I have no luck with these websites. Remember the time you signed me up at Nerve.com (Should have been called perv.com) and promised if I went on one date you’d never make me do it again? The guy was 3 feet tall, had Pinocchio’s nose, was carrying an overnight case and told me the last woman he met from the website asked him to pee on her, and he did, with pleasure. Good thing I met him at the train station; I left him there. Not to mention Hitler postage man.” “You have to do something. I worry about you being alone.