A Wolf By Any Other Name Is Still An Idiot

I called one company and said “I’m a convicted murderer and child molester, and just got out of prison. I have excellent credit, though.” They said “come right in, we have several luxury apartments that can suit your needs.” One of the apartments they showed me had a special playroom for children! I found the following person via a recommendation from a friend; I should have known better. With the stress of trying to get an apartment, I forgot the most important factor-my friend is an idiot. " Applications are always cash -- I will give you a receipt. There is a studio coming up On August 1st that I think I mentioned yesterday. Here is the info for it: 184 West 70th Street. STUDIO, Apartment #8H $2,195 Doorman building, has small gym and laundry in the basement. Great, super great UWS neighborhood. Please try to take a look at this apartment. I will be sending you information as I find it. And, please let me know how you're progressing. Best, Name Withheld For Fear of Lawsuit." “small gym” turned out to be 2 of the first step machines ever invented (busted) and a hamster spinning on its wheel, in the basement. “Laundry” was a giant sink in the basement. Were those giant cockroaches, or laundry concierges? Turns out this person is trying to pocket 150 dollars of my hard earned cash (called an "application fee", non-refundable, of course, even if I didn’t get the apartment). They were trying to get an additional referral fee from a building that I found myself on the internet, and visited 2 weeks before I ever heard of them. There was no application fee if I applied directly with the management company, and negotiable rent. While trying to bilk me, this person didn’t even show up, but sent a dim witted assistant who went upstairs without me, leaving me sitting in the lobby with a nasty doorman. He finally showed me 2 dumps, and didn’t mention that rent was negotiable. The apartments were bastardized with cardboard walls and tiny square footage. My boot boxes are bigger than these apartments. It’s too bad, because from outside the building is beautiful. The assistant looked at me like I was crazy when I said it was stupid to pay 150 dollars, cash only, to possibly be rejected. That I would get a receipt seemed to make him think I’d find it less reprehensible. Thanks, pal. Nothing I’d like better to be reminded, in writing, that I was stupid and/or desperate enough to be ripped off by the likes of you. He urged me to apply, and asked “Do you want me to call the broker?” I said no and got out of there. As I walked away, discouraged, I remembered the events of my prior visit to this building. A tenant cornered me and advised that it was a very young crowd and management didn’t care at all. The one honest doorman said “Things get reported when I’m here, but I’m only here 3 days”. The other doorman has the personality of an undertaker on valium. My subsequent internet research confirmed that management rents out the vacant apartments to tourists, has open scaffolding and code violations, and treats tenants like crap. The broker sent another email today, urging me to apply for the apartment. I told her that I wasn’t in love with it. Here’s the nonsense I got back. . . "Thanks for getting back to me -- here's how I see it -- 1. You can "apply" for that studio and I can do my best to see you are "accepted" or 2. You can apply for the one you really like. I keep on thinking that if you are accepted by one landlord in the same neighborhood, you will have a better chance at getting an apt of your choice -- my opinion. Looking for more apts without knowing if you will be accepted isn't a great strategy. Ok -- let me know what you want me to do. Best, NWFFOL" ***Ironic- why is it that the worst people sign their e-mail “best”?