Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid.

Lesson: Be careful what you wish for. . .they’ll show you anything but. . . January 5, 2009. Weather: rain. Mission: Tour first set of apartments with broker. What better time to walk the long city blocks across the west side, than in the dead of winter, in freezing rain. Before we got started, I filled out a very long application. I knew I was signing a ludicrous adhesion contract, but didn’t see the harm since I assumed I was looking at no fee apartments and probably wouldn’t find anything anyway. Broker’s pre tour pep talk: “The economy is not bad. The market is not bad. People are still renting. Don’t believe the New York Times. There are no deals on the West side. People still want to live here.” Right, and Nixon was not a crook. What they say “What features are you looking for?” What they mean “I’m just making conversation. I don’t give a rat’s ass about what you are looking for. I’ll try to unload any box of crap on you. I get my commission. I don’t have to live there. I’ll double talk and walk you around in circles until you’re so desperate and confused you’ve forgotten what you asked for. Incidentally, you do not have a prayer of getting what you want from me. Ever. Not a prayer.” What the disclaimer should say on the broker agreement Be afraid. Be very afraid.