Things they never warn you about

Why, as soon as the temperature goes above 100 degrees, does a stinking garbage truck end up on whatever street I walk down, no matter what time of day? Not to mention the mini-van sized strollers used only to carry purchases from stores I could never afford; or the Caddyshack sized giant golf umbrellas that might be perfect if we were in Montana; or self-centered idiots who ride scooters, no matter how crowded the sidewalk might be. What better time to scoot across town than rush hour? I hear there is an organization forming: concerned citizens with safety pins. Their mission: to poke holes in offending golf umbrellas and scooter wheels. They are also lobbying for the enactment of sidewalk segregation legislation to construct a special sidewalk lane limited to strollers, giant umbrellas, scooters, and tourists.